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Text by LoveDoesNotExist

lit. by VampiresBleedToo

Literature by SakuraKittyy

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Submitted on
March 19, 2011
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1.9 KB


153 (who?)
One of the most intriguing nuances of the Universe is that, time and again, it manages to outdo itself in terms of sheer oddity. One of these examples dwells on the validus humus* Gaia, north on the lateral plane of the galactic core of G2427626, known as the Milky Way galaxy in some ares of the Universe.

This creature, of primarily upright reptilian descent, is around the height of a larval valde vermis; it is omnivorous, with large claws and excellent vision, and can bring down a grown bupholant with little effort. It is perfectly adapted to its environment, and by every law of nature and evolution it should not have developed intelligence; of course, these laws do not allow for cosmic intervention.

Several centuries before the advent of homo sapien on Gaia, one of the the raptors was found calculating the orbit of Gaia's moon-suns. This event in itself was not so strange; indeed, any respectable intelligence could do so easily. No, what made this raptor such an aberration was that it had evolved to such a state a mere three days past; in that time, it philosophized that carnivorous habits were at once vile and wholly unnecessary, and had indeed synthesized artificial nutrients so that it may remain entirely herbivorous, as well as a profusion of other moral dilemmas.

The Antaren who made such an astounding discovery spoke of the raptor's ponderous inflection (for they had indeed evolved speech), an accent that Earthlings would find strangely cockney. The beast had decrypted the entire Antaren dialect within minutes of first encounter, and was able to hold a lengthy dialogue on the probability or lack therein of the raptor's sudden evolution. The creatures were highly philosophic, on this and many other matters, and the species has hence been designated as the Philosoraptor.

*mighty earth
Moving moving moving....
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-12-08
Philosoraptor by ~Shadowcock is a "humorous, witty" exploration of a species profile (anonymous suggester's words). ( Featured by neurotype )
TogepiTooCute4u Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
what program do you use to write this stuff?
hammerade Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fan? This would fit right in.
Ragecomics100 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i feel like a velosiraptor!
AbraxasCreations Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
All of a sudden, I'm picturing a movie about memes with the Philosoraptor voiced by Stephen Fry.
human-groveback Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Professional General Artist
& Thomas's O-face voiced by Ben Small.
Doodelay Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Writer
Great Job man

Philosoraptor, extremely clever background ^^
Vanshira Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I want to know more about the Philosoraptors.
Lucy-Merriman Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Student General Artist
Clever :) Congrats on the DD.
madnezz344 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
AWZOME :) I really enjoyed reading this :) thanks :D
sii-kei Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very quirky!
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